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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Just shared via Discord:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Just shared via X:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Live now on X:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Trending via LinkedIn:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Freshly posted on Threads:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Trending via Messenger:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Going viral on Twitch:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Live now on Discord:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Live now on Slack:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

39 Funny chocolate quotes

Funny chocolate quotes add a sweet touch of humor to everyone’s favorite indulgence! 🍫😂 From witty remarks about chocolate cravings to playful observations on the joy of indulging in cocoa, these quotes capture the lighter side of your chocolate love. Enjoy a laugh and savor the fun in every bite! 😄🍪

New funny chocolate quotes 👇

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

16 hours ago

cake, chocolate, chocolate cake, dessert, food, food love, humor, love, soulmate
Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

1 month ago

beverage, chocolate, comfort, comfort food, craving, diagnosis, extra, food, got, hot, hot chocolate, humor, just, marshmallow
According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

2 months ago

4, advent, advent calendar, calendar, celebration, chocolate, Christmas, countdown, days, food, holiday, humor, only
Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

2 months ago

chocolate, dark, dark chocolate, diet, diet joke, eating, food, food humor, healthy, healthy eating, humor, joke, vegetable, vegetables
The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

2 months ago

bed, book, books, chocolate, comfort, empty, humor, liar, night, relationship, side, sleep, snore
Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

2 months ago

back, big, chocolate, deforestation, Dubai, Dubai chocolate, due, environmental, environmental humor, green, humor, irony, jealousy, matcha
Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

2 months ago

amount, body, bueno, chocolate, cravings, humor, humor quote, indulgence, kinder, Kinder Bueno, listen, snack, temptation
Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

2 months ago

challenge, chocolate, eating, hardest, humor, indulgence, starting, stopping, sweets
Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

2 months ago

chocolate, dilemma, guilty, guilty pleasure, honesty, humor, i, kids, last, night, parenting, pleasure, snack
When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

2 months ago

cake, chocolate, coping, coping mechanism, cream, dessert, eat, humor, ice, ice cream, mechanism, stress, sweet, wordplay

For even more funny chocolate quotes, hit next 👇

All funny chocolate quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Facebook this month:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

29 shares on X this month:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

43 shares on Discord this month:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

63 shares on Discord this month:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

60 shares on X this month:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Trending via TikTok:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Breaking via Discord:

I would prefer not to.

Shared recently on X:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Just shared via Threads:

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

Making waves on Facebook:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Spreading quickly via X:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

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