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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Spotted on WeChat:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Shared recently on X:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Making waves on WeChat:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Making waves on Messenger:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Just shared via Discord:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

52 Funny choices quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

26 shares on Messenger this month:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

54 shares on Slack this month:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Tested positive for being single af

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,730

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Breaking via Facebook:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Just landed via YouTube:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Breaking via Discord:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Just shared via Reddit:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Making waves on Facebook:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

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