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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,577

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Spotted on Threads:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Seen just now on Slack:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.

Going viral on Facebook:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Funny circumstance quotes

Funny circumstance quotes bring a burst of laughter to life’s unexpected twists and turns 😂✨ Whether you’re caught in a silly mishap or a quirky situation, these witty words remind us to find humor in the chaos 🎭🤣 Embrace the unpredictable moments with a smile and a chuckle—because sometimes, all you can do is laugh and enjoy the ride! 🚀😄 #LaughItOff #FunnyCircumstances

New funny circumstance quotes 👇

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

3 weeks ago

circumstance, circumstances, control, excuse, humor, i, irony, late, procrastination, well

All funny circumstance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Threads this month:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

45 shares on TikTok this month:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

38 shares on X this month:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I love having plans to cancel.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Making waves on Telegram:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Live now on Facebook:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Going bananas on X:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Going viral on Facebook:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Trending via YouTube:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Spotted on YouTube:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Trending via TikTok:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

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