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Jan 25, 2025
Share →: This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Commentary:
"Just sprinkle some espresso into the holy water, it's the perfect blend of caffeine and blessings ☕️💦 #DivineAwakening"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Spreading quickly via X:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Just shared via Threads:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Making waves on Slack:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Spotted on Reddit:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

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Funny coffee addiction quotes

New funny coffee addiction quotes 👇

For even more funny coffee addiction quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny coffee addiction quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

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