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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Going viral on Twitch:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Going viral on Telegram:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Just landed via Pinterest:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Just shared via TikTok:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Just shared via X:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Trending via Threads:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

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Funny coffee joke quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,459

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Trending via Twitch:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Breaking via Slack:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Spotted on Threads:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Making waves on Instagram:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

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