Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Going viral on Snapchat:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Breaking via Reddit:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Trending via Facebook:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Trending via Pinterest:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Just shared via Reddit:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Trending via Reddit:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Funny competitive humor quotes

New funny competitive humor quotes 👇

All funny competitive humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

51 shares on Discord this month:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

48 shares on Discord this month:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,745

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Making waves on Messenger:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Just shared via Telegram:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Trending via Telegram:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Live now on Telegram:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Just shared via Telegram:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

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