Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,341

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Trending via YouTube:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Making waves on Reddit:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Just shared via Facebook:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Just shared via Slack:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Breaking via Slack:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Trending via YouTube:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Just shared via TikTok:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Making waves on WeChat:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Funny criminal history quotes

New funny criminal history quotes 👇

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

4 weeks ago

activity, couple, crime, criminal, criminal history, date, date idea, first date, history, humor, idea, joke, others, relationship, search, together

All funny criminal history quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

21 shares on Threads this month:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Making waves on TikTok:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Making waves on TikTok:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Trending via Discord:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Going viral on Messenger:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Just shared via X:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Making waves on Twitch:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Just landed via Pinterest:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny criminal history quotes

New funny criminal history quotes 👇

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

All funny criminal history quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨