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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,573

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Spotted on Reddit:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Shared recently on Slack:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Making waves on X:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Spotted on Facebook:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Breaking via WeChat:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Funny dark time quotes

New funny dark time quotes 👇

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

0

5 months ago

America, being, challenge, dark, dark time, easy, humor, responsibility, someone, sweetheart, time, times

Someone from 🇺🇦 has recently shared this quote.

73 shares on Discord this month.

All funny dark time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

96 shares on X this month:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

79 shares on Slack this month:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

27 shares on X this month:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Just shared via Discord:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Live now on TikTok:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Live now on X:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Shared recently on Threads:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Just shared via Threads:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Just landed via X:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Going bananas on Pinterest:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Just landed via Facebook:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny dark time quotes

New funny dark time quotes 👇

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

All funny dark time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨