Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I think my type is a nice person.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

January is the Monday of the year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,740

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Live now on TikTok:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Trending via Messenger:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Trending via Slack:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Just landed via Snapchat:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

Live now on WeChat:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Funny direct signals quotes

New funny direct signals quotes 👇

All funny direct signals quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Threads this month:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

34 shares on Slack this month:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,658

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Spotted on Telegram:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Just shared via Discord:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Trending via TikTok:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Shared recently on Discord:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Trending via TikTok:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Just landed via YouTube:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Trending via Pinterest:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴