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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t think I’m allowed to be in public for over an hour.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Going viral on X:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Trending via Discord:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Funny dumb nonsense quotes

New funny dumb nonsense quotes 👇

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

2 weeks ago

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All funny dumb nonsense quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on WeChat this month:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Seen just now on Slack:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Just landed via X:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Trending via Slack:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Live now on Pinterest:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

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Funny dumb nonsense quotes

New funny dumb nonsense quotes 👇

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

All funny dumb nonsense quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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