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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,763

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Going viral on Messenger:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Just landed via Reddit:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Spotted on Telegram:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Just landed via Threads:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Trending via Snapchat:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Funny dumb nonsense quotes

New funny dumb nonsense quotes 👇

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

2 weeks ago

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All funny dumb nonsense quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Most attractive muscle on a man? The frontal lobe. Fully developed.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Making waves on Telegram:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Live now on TikTok:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Going viral on Slack:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Going viral on TikTok:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Spotted on Threads:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Just landed via YouTube:

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

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Funny dumb nonsense quotes

New funny dumb nonsense quotes 👇

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

All funny dumb nonsense quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨