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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Trending via YouTube:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Going viral on Discord:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Just shared via Telegram:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Going bananas on Facebook:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Spotted on Discord:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Just shared via X:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Just shared via Twitch:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Funny end of year quotes

New funny end of year quotes 👇

All funny end of year quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

26 shares on WeChat this month:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion can’t keep living like this.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Going viral on Discord:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Shared recently on X:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Going viral on TikTok:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

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