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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

431 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,700

Funny Quotes Topics

17,718

Funny Quotes Images

15,700

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Making waves on Slack:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Websites need to realize that no one ever, ever wants the site to be able to send them notifications.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Making waves on Facebook:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Just shared via Facebook:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Just shared via WeChat:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Seen just now on Instagram:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Funny end times quotes

Funny end times quotes bring a hilarious twist to the idea of the world’s grand finale 🌍💥 Whether you’re prepping for doom or just love a good laugh 😂, these witty sayings turn apocalypse anxiety into pure entertainment 🎭🔥 Get ready to chuckle through chaos and find humor in the unexpected 🤪✨ Because sometimes, the end of the world calls for a little comic relief!

New funny end times quotes 👇

All funny end times quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

67 shares on Discord this month:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

70 shares on X this month:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

431 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,700

Funny Quotes Topics

17,718

Funny Quotes Images

15,700

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Seen just now on Threads:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Spotted on TikTok:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Trending via WeChat:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Just landed via Reddit:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Live now on Slack:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

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