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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,745

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Making waves on Twitch:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Spotted on X:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Just shared via Discord:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Just shared via Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Spotted on Discord:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Going viral on TikTok:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Funny epitaph quotes

New funny epitaph quotes 👇

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

3 weeks ago

bathroom, before, epitaph, humor, i, left, pee, procrastination, regret

All funny epitaph quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

57 shares on Slack this month:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

34 shares on Threads this month:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

95 shares on Discord this month:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Just shared via Slack:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Live now on Facebook:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny epitaph quotes

New funny epitaph quotes 👇

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

All funny epitaph quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨