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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Just shared via Twitch:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Trending via Telegram:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Just landed via X:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

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Funny fishing trip quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Making waves on Threads:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Trending via WeChat:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Spotted on Reddit:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Just landed via Threads:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

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