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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Being depressed is so embarrassing. It’s like, look at me, guys. I have nothing positive to say, and I make everything miserable.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

People who read and research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Just shared via Telegram:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Making waves on WeChat:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Seen just now on Telegram:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Funny food struggle quotes

New funny food struggle quotes 👇

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

4 weeks ago

bag, cooking, cooking fail, cutting, fail, food, food struggle, frozen, frozen vegetable, humor, kitchen, kitchen humor, relatable, relatable humor, resealable, resealable bag, struggle, toxic, toxic trait, trait, vegetable, vegetables

All funny food struggle quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

28 shares on Slack this month:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

61 shares on Slack this month:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Live now on WeChat:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Spotted on Slack:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Live now on LinkedIn:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Spotted on Twitch:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny food struggle quotes

New funny food struggle quotes 👇

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

All funny food struggle quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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