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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1888 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,050

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,050

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Just landed via Slack:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Just shared via Messenger:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Spotted on Twitch:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Making waves on Reddit:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Just shared via Reddit:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

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Funny friendship dynamic quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1888 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,050

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,050

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Making waves on Discord:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Making waves on Threads:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Live now on Pinterest:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Trending via WhatsApp:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Going viral on Twitch:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

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