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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I love having plans to cancel.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Going viral on WeChat:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Just landed via Reddit:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Going viral on Instagram:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on YouTube this month:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

10 shares on TikTok this month:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

13 shares on Slack this month:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,621

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Just landed via Facebook:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Just shared via TikTok:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Just landed via Reddit:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Making waves on Discord:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Just landed via WeChat:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Going viral on Slack:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Just shared via Messenger:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

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