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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,985

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,985

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Going viral on Reddit:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Making waves on WeChat:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Shared recently on WeChat:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Breaking via YouTube:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Trending via Slack:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Live now on Messenger:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Making waves on Instagram:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Home » Funny Getting Laid Quotes

Funny getting laid quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,985

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,985

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Trending via Snapchat:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Trending via WeChat:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Spotted on Messenger:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Just landed via Slack:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Shared recently on Threads:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Breaking via Telegram:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Trending via Slack:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

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