Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,365

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Live now on Slack:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Spotted on Twitch:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Trending via TikTok:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Messenger this month:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

65 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

49 shares on Discord this month:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

74 shares on Threads this month:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I will sit in the rain about this.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Just landed via YouTube:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Shared recently on Slack:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Trending via Snapchat:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

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