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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2337 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,499

Funny Quotes Topics

15,204

Funny Quotes Images

12,499

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Trending via Messenger:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Shared recently on Discord:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Trending via Reddit:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Just shared via Telegram:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2337 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,499

Funny Quotes Topics

15,204

Funny Quotes Images

12,499

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Reported on LinkedIn:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Going viral on Messenger:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Shared recently on Threads:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Just shared via Twitch:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

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