Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,554

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Making waves on Messenger:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Trending via X:

Bought some coconut shampoo, but when I got home, I realised I didn’t have a coconut.

Just landed via WeChat:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Making waves on X:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Just landed via X:

In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Funny greece quotes

Funny Greece quotes 🇬🇷 bring a splash of sunshine ☀️ and laughter 😂 to your day! Whether you’re dreaming of ancient ruins 🏛️, mouth-watering gyros 🍴, or lively island vibes 🌊, these witty sayings capture the playful spirit of Greek culture. Perfect for sharing with friends or adding some humor to your travel plans, get ready to smile and say “Opa!” with every clever line! 🎉😄

New funny greece quotes 👇

All funny greece quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Discord this month:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

26 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,750

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Just landed via WeChat:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Seen just now on Discord:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Making waves on Messenger:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Shared recently on X:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Live now on Facebook:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

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