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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Broadcasted on X:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Making waves on X:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Just shared via YouTube:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Breaking via Telegram:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Socks try to be monogamous but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Just shared via Slack:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Going viral on WeChat:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Making waves on YouTube:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Breaking via Messenger:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Making waves on Instagram:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Spotted on Discord:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Making waves on Twitch:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Spotted on Instagram:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

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