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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Reported on Twitch:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Seen just now on Facebook:

They expect me to work at work.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Seen just now on Discord:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Broadcasted on X:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Breaking via TikTok:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Trending via Facebook:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Just landed via Twitch:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Seen just now on Facebook:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Reported on Threads:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Freshly posted on X:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Just landed via Threads:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

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