Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,499

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Breaking via Slack:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Just landed via Discord:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Just landed via Threads:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Seen just now on Threads:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Going bananas on Discord:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Making waves on Telegram:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Trending via Reddit:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Funny heart surgery quotes

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All funny heart surgery quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

55 shares on TikTok this month:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

11 shares on Discord this month:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

72 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I was dropped as an adult.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Freshly posted on Slack:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Spotted on Instagram:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Spotted on Reddit:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Seen just now on Threads:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Trending via LinkedIn:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

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