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Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,884

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Trending via YouTube:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Trending via Twitch:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Making waves on WeChat:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Going viral on X:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Shared recently on X:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Just landed via Instagram:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Home » Funny Heimlich Quotes

Funny Heimlich quotes

New funny Heimlich quotes 👇

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

0

2 months ago

choking, Heimlich, humor, impossible, joke, maneuver, pronunciation, thing, wordplay

All funny Heimlich quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

97 shares on X this month:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Seen just now on Instagram:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Breaking via Discord:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Trending via WeChat:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny Heimlich quotes

New funny Heimlich quotes 👇

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

All funny Heimlich quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨