Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

27 minutes ago

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Freshly posted on Slack:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Going viral on Discord:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Going viral on Messenger:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Just landed via Instagram:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Trending via Instagram:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Breaking via X:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Reported on Twitch:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Home » Funny Helium Quotes

Funny helium quotes

New funny helium quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Commentary:
"Oh, the cosmic giggle that must echo through the heavens when we try to impress the big guy with our squeaky ambitions! 🎈😂 Just imagine God chuckling as we float away with our high-pitched dreams! 🤣 #DivineHumor"
6 months ago
Share →: Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Commentary:
"Well, if you want a party that's really 'bleating' edge, go ahead and fill up those animals with helium 🎈🐐 Who knows, maybe they'll finally reach new heights in their social circles! Just make sure they don't take off and become the G.O.A.T. of the skies! 🚀😂"

For even more funny helium quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny helium quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

27 minutes ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Spotted on Reddit:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Making waves on Twitch:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Just landed via Discord:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Going viral on X:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Just shared via WeChat:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Breaking via Slack:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Making waves on Snapchat:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴