Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,306

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Trending via Reddit:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Live now on YouTube:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Just landed via Threads:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Just shared via Facebook:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Live now on TikTok:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Funny helium quotes

Funny helium quotes bring a lighthearted twist to the science of the squeaky voice and floating balloons 🎈😂 Whether you’ve ever inhaled helium at a party or just love silly wordplay, these witty lines will lift your spirits high 🌟🗣️ Get ready to giggle and feel as buoyant as a helium-filled balloon soaring through the sky! 🎉🎈

New funny helium quotes 👇

All funny helium quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

84 shares on Instagram this month:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,554

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Just landed via TikTok:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Just landed via Telegram:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Just landed via Threads:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Making waves on Discord:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Trending via Reddit:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Making waves on YouTube:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Trending via Snapchat:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴