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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,720

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Going viral on X:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Shared recently on Slack:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Trending via WeChat:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Trending via Pinterest:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Funny Hokey Pokey quotes

New funny Hokey Pokey quotes 👇

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

0

2 months ago

activity, confusion, dance, disagreement, fun, fun activity, having, hokey, Hokey Pokey, humor, i, internal, internal disagreement, lyrics, obvious, pokey, say, song

Someone from 🇨🇾 has recently bookmarked this quote.

120 shares on Telegram this month.

All funny Hokey Pokey quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on YouTube this month:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

13 shares on Discord this month:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

70 shares on Twitch this month:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Trending via Threads:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Spotted on Discord:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Broadcasted on X:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Trending via Reddit:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Making waves on WeChat:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny Hokey Pokey quotes

New funny Hokey Pokey quotes 👇

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

All funny Hokey Pokey quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨