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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,341

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Shared recently on X:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

Trending via Twitch:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Trending via Snapchat:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Making waves on TikTok:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Funny Hokey Pokey quotes

New funny Hokey Pokey quotes 👇

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

2 weeks ago

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All funny Hokey Pokey quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

88 shares on X this month:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Seen just now on Threads:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Making waves on Discord:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Spotted on Twitch:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Going viral on Telegram:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Broadcasted on X:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Spotted on Slack:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny Hokey Pokey quotes

New funny Hokey Pokey quotes 👇

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

All funny Hokey Pokey quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨