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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Making waves on YouTube:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Just shared via X:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Live now on Slack:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Trending via Discord:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

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Funny holy water quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Stretching isn’t enough, I need to be able to disassemble my body like legos.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Trending via Pinterest:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Live now on Twitch:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Making waves on Facebook:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Seen just now on Discord:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Shared recently on Facebook:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Reported on Telegram:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

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