Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,751

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Just shared via Pinterest:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Just landed via Snapchat:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Going viral on Reddit:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Just landed via Twitch:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Trending via Slack:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

32 shares on X this month:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am half agony, half hope.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

98 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

And then one day, life was like… hold my beer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,737

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I was dropped as an adult.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

You’re not really a writer unless you send at least one email a month with a script attachment, saying, “Sorry, read this one instead.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Making waves on Twitch:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Live now on X:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Breaking via Slack:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Breaking via Reddit:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Making waves on WeChat:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Spotted on Threads:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Shared recently on Messenger:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

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