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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,959

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,959

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Making waves on Messenger:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Just landed via Twitch:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Going viral on WeChat:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Live now on Twitch:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,959

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,959

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Going viral on Discord:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Seen just now on X:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Just shared via YouTube:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Trending via Snapchat:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Making waves on TikTok:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Just landed via YouTube:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Trending via X:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

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