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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Spotted on Facebook:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Just shared via Telegram:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Trending via WeChat:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Trending via Twitch:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Seen just now on Threads:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Just shared via YouTube:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Just shared via X:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Just shared via Pinterest:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Just shared via YouTube:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Just shared via YouTube:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

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