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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Making waves on Facebook:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Seen just now on Threads:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Breaking via TikTok:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Funny jobless quotes

Funny jobless quotes bring a lighthearted twist to those in-between jobs moments 😂💼 Whether you’re embracing the hustle break or just enjoying some well-earned chill time, these witty sayings turn unemployment into pure comedy gold 🎉😜 Ready to laugh off the job hunt stress and find humor in downtime? Let’s dive into the funniest takes on being jobless and loving every second! 😎✨

New funny jobless quotes 👇

All funny jobless quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

30 shares on X this month:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,276

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Trending via Threads:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Live now on LinkedIn:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Spotted on Twitch:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Going bananas on Facebook:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Spotted on X:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Just shared via Threads:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Going bananas on TikTok:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

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