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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Spotted on Snapchat:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Trending via X:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Trending via Instagram:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Trending via Threads:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Going viral on Facebook:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Freshly posted on X:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Funny kidney stone quotes

Funny kidney stone quotes are here to turn that painful experience into a laughter-filled moment 😂💎. When life throws tiny rocks your way, sometimes all you can do is laugh through the ache! Whether you’re currently battling those pesky stones or just love a good medical meme, these witty lines will have you smiling (and maybe groaning) in no time 😅💥. Ready for some rock-solid humor? Let’s dive in!

New funny kidney stone quotes 👇

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

4 weeks ago

challenges, humor, kidney, kidney stone, life, life challenges, pain, pass, perseverance, stone, this too shall pass
This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

4 weeks ago

humor, kidney, kidney stone, lesson, life, life lesson, optimism, pass, patience, perseverance, stone, struggle, this too shall pass, too, wisdom

All funny kidney stone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Slack this month:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

73 shares on Slack this month:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Breaking via YouTube:

Cool times create cool guys.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Trending via Reddit:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Going viral on TikTok:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Going viral on Instagram:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Live now on WeChat:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

Just shared via YouTube:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

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