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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,757

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Seen just now on Discord:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Just landed via Discord:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Just shared via Telegram:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Going viral on Messenger:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Just shared via Instagram:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Trending via Facebook:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,611

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Trending via Reddit:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Trending via WhatsApp:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Freshly posted on X:

Netflix & by yourself.

Going viral on Discord:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Going viral on Facebook:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Trending via Twitch:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

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