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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

803 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,965

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,965

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Spotted on Slack:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Breaking via Reddit:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Spotted on Twitch:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Live now on Discord:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Making waves on Reddit:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

803 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,965

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,965

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Shared recently on WeChat:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Trending via Facebook:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Seen just now on Discord:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Dear Santa, Money!

Just landed via WeChat:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Just shared via Telegram:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Trending via LinkedIn:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

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