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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Making waves on Twitch:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Spotted on Slack:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Just landed via Twitch:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Making waves on Telegram:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Trending via X:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Trending via Discord:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Funny life alert quotes

Funny life alert quotes 🚨😂 bring a splash of humor to those unexpected moments when life throws curveballs. Whether it’s a silly mishap or a quirky reminder to stay safe, these witty lines keep the mood light and laughter loud. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up the day, they prove that even alerts can be a source of smiles! 😄📲✨

New funny life alert quotes 👇

All funny life alert quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

11 shares on Slack this month:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Body by sandwich.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,302

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Just shared via Facebook:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Making waves on Messenger:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Breaking via Pinterest:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Going bananas on YouTube:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Trending via TikTok:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Going viral on Discord:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Trending via Instagram:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Trending via TikTok:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

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