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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Spotted on X:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Just shared via X:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Making waves on Slack:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Just shared via Telegram:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Spotted on Snapchat:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Just landed via Facebook:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Seen just now on Slack:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Making waves on TikTok:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Home » Funny Life Alert Quotes

Funny life alert quotes

Funny life alert quotes 🚨😂 bring a splash of humor to those unexpected moments when life throws curveballs. Whether it’s a silly mishap or a quirky reminder to stay safe, these witty lines keep the mood light and laughter loud. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up the day, they prove that even alerts can be a source of smiles! 😄📲✨

New funny life alert quotes 👇

For even more funny life alert quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny life alert quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Just shared via YouTube:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Breaking via TikTok:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Making waves on X:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Seen just now on Discord:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Shared recently on Threads:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Just shared via X:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Breaking via Facebook:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

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