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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Spotted on Messenger:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Just shared via Reddit:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Seen just now on X:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Making waves on Twitch:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Just landed via X:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Going viral on Twitch:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Making waves on Twitch:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Just landed via Twitch:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Spotted on Reddit:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Breaking via Twitch:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Trending via Pinterest:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Reported on Twitch:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Making waves on Discord:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

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