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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Making waves on Threads:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Spotted on Slack:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Live now on Discord:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Going viral on Threads:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Live now on Pinterest:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

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Funny looney quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,894

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Shared recently on Discord:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Just landed via Threads:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Trending via YouTube:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Trending via Messenger:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Going viral on Reddit:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

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