Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Dear music, thanks!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,334

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Making waves on Twitch:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Going viral on Threads:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Trending via Instagram:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

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All funny Lou Reed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Twitch this month:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

57 shares on Discord this month:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

74 shares on Discord this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

47 shares on Instagram this month:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Just shared via Messenger:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Just landed via Threads:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Just shared via Telegram:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Breaking via Threads:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Spotted on Snapchat:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

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