Funny machete quotes

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.