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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Seen just now on Instagram:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Live now on Snapchat:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Shared recently on Facebook:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Breaking via Twitch:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Breaking via Telegram:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Funny mental exercise quotes

New funny mental exercise quotes 👇

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

9 hours ago

exercise, funny habit, habit, language, mental, mental exercise, mentally, pronunciation, saying, spelling, Wednesday, word, wordplay, writing

All funny mental exercise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Messenger this month:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Breaking via Telegram:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Just landed via TikTok:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Just landed via TikTok:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Spotted on Threads:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Trending via Slack:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny mental exercise quotes

New funny mental exercise quotes 👇

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

All funny mental exercise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨