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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,994

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,994

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Making waves on TikTok:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Live now on WhatsApp:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Just shared via Slack:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Reported on Threads:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Trending via Reddit:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

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Funny Mini Cooper quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,994

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,994

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Live now on Reddit:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Trending via Twitch:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Shared recently on X:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Spotted on Slack:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

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