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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Going viral on Facebook:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Just landed via Facebook:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Trending via Facebook:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Just landed via Instagram:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Live now on Slack:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Shared recently on Slack:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Funny monarchy quotes

New funny monarchy quotes 👇

All funny monarchy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

57 shares on X this month:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

18 shares on Slack this month:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Going viral on Snapchat:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Trending via Twitch:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Making waves on TikTok:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Making waves on Slack:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Breaking via Discord:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Going bananas on Slack:

Unpopular opinion: Greek mythology needs more live-action movies. I’m tired of re-watching Percy Jackson.

Trending via Snapchat:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Making waves on TikTok:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

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