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New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

366 Funny motivation quotes

Funny motivation quotes give a humorous twist to the quest for inspiration and drive. 💪😄 From clever quips about overcoming obstacles to playful takes on getting things done, these quotes make the pursuit of goals a bit more entertaining. Enjoy a laugh while you stay motivated and tackle your challenges with a smile! 😂✨

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Posted onMay 26, 2026May 26, 2026

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Posted onMay 26, 2026

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

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