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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Going viral on Snapchat:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Spotted on Messenger:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Going bananas on YouTube:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Trending via Instagram:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Going bananas on WeChat:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Funny mourning quotes

New funny mourning quotes 👇

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

0

4 months ago

change, humor, irony, mourning, only, people, season, seasonal, seasonal change, spirit, summer, terrible, unfortunately, weather

Someone from 🇬🇲 has recently shared this quote.

45 shares on Twitch this month.

All funny mourning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

94 shares on X this month:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

49 shares on Threads this month:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

31 shares on X this month:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Making waves on Slack:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Just landed via Instagram:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Spotted on Facebook:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Going viral on Twitch:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Spotted on YouTube:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny mourning quotes

New funny mourning quotes 👇

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

All funny mourning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨