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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Live now on Pinterest:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Just shared via WeChat:

Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.

Going viral on Discord:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Your 20s should be spent nervously sitting on the edge of the bed with rigid posture.

Just landed via Discord:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Trending via Telegram:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Funny movie rental store quotes

New funny movie rental store quotes 👇

All funny movie rental store quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Threads this month:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

26 shares on Threads this month:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

63 shares on X this month:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

84 shares on X this month:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,394

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Just landed via X:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

Going bananas on Slack:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Breaking via TikTok:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

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