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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Live now on Facebook:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Live now on YouTube:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Breaking via Facebook:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Spotted on Discord:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Trending via TikTok:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Just shared via Reddit:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

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New funny nostril quotes 👇

All funny nostril quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on YouTube this month:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

11 shares on Slack this month:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

50 shares on Slack this month:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

58 shares on Threads this month:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

90 shares on X this month:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Spotted on Reddit:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Live now on YouTube:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Seen just now on X:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Seen just now on Slack:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Just landed via Messenger:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Spotted on Telegram:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

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