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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Shared recently on X:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Going viral on X:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Going viral on Threads:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Just landed via Threads:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Just landed via Twitch:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Shared recently on Slack:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

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