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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Just shared via Instagram:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Live now on Pinterest:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Spotted on YouTube:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Seen just now on Threads:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Spotted on Twitch:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Going viral on TikTok:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Just shared via Facebook:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Shared recently on Slack:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Seen just now on Threads:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Just landed via YouTube:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

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