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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Just landed via Slack:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Trending via Snapchat:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Making waves on Facebook:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Breaking via Telegram:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Live now on Facebook:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Home » Funny Opposites Quotes

Funny opposites quotes

Funny opposites quotes bring a hilarious twist to life’s contrasts, turning everyday contradictions into laugh-out-loud moments 😂✨ From hot and cold to big and small, these witty sayings shine a spotlight on the quirky side of opposites 😜🔥 Whether you need a chuckle or a clever icebreaker, get ready to see the lighter side of life’s funny flips! 🎭🤣

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For even more funny opposites quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny opposites quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Just landed via Pinterest:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Reported on Twitch:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Just shared via Slack:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Live now on Facebook:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Just landed via TikTok:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

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