Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Shared recently on Discord:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Spotted on Instagram:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I hope this email kills us both.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Funny opposites quotes

Funny opposites quotes bring a hilarious twist to life’s contrasts, turning everyday contradictions into laugh-out-loud moments 😂✨ From hot and cold to big and small, these witty sayings shine a spotlight on the quirky side of opposites 😜🔥 Whether you need a chuckle or a clever icebreaker, get ready to see the lighter side of life’s funny flips! 🎭🤣

New funny opposites quotes 👇

All funny opposites quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

24 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

50 shares on X this month:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Making waves on TikTok:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Just shared via Discord:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Trending via TikTok:

Having an international law degree in this day and age must be what it feels like losing chess to a dog and getting robbed of $90,000 afterward.

Spotted on Instagram:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Just landed via Reddit:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴